Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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