I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize