I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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