i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
