One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
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