so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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