wanna go halves on a baby?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
