Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
