I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
