I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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