Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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