help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
