what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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