In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
