he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
