It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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