I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
