shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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