thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
