Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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