38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
