he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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