3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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