I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
