I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
