Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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