I CAN MOONWALK!
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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