Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
