Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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