walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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