I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Dignity is for republicans.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
