physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
