He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
