I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
