I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Farmville is her only friend.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
