oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
