how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
