I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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