You work out of a Hotel?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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