please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
