im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
