i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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