I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
