i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
