Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
