Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
