wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
