Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
