Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
