If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
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