its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Why is there bacon in the couch?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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