just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
