Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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