Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
it's great music for shaving your balls
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize