It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Still dying that you shit outside
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
