omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
