So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
