The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
