yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
