who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
