so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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