I CAN MOONWALK!
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
