Just fell off a train. Bad.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
