Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
