the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
