I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize