Slut skills are useful in every country.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
