Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
